My story, Part 2: Heaven on earth

I began searching the internet. Previously, I focused at the symptoms and on finding out what was wrong with me, the question of WHY things happened as they did. I had examined my past, childhood, marriage and job, found the answers to a lot. At the same time, a lot of emotions appeared; anger and blame against my parents, siblings, teachers, my husband, the bus driver who assaulted me as a young girl etc. Guilt and criticism above myself, how I had coped with life, motherhood, etc. I have gradually realized more about why I almost developed anorexia as a young girl, and why I over ate as an adult. I became aware of the patterns I drove over and over again in life. I learned A LOT about fear.




I found a lot of information pages on the web. The pages was supposed to be informative and useful, but in fact the pages just made me more scared than I already was. I got to the point where I was so tired of being sick, that I decided to read only the success stories. I took a decision: Enough disease!




I tried to find alternative ways out of the situation. I read the success stories in magazines and on the web. I found an increasing number of examples, people who had managed to turn their situation. Books about self development filled my home. The first book I read, "you are born to live a wonderful life" by Robert Holden is a wonderful book. Reading the book lit a feeling of hope inside me. It made me feel happy. I decided to become a success story myself!




I studied and wrote summaries of books.




Made me a binder that I called "my own miracle medicine." Other small books were filled with favorite phrases and sayings, I visualized and repeated affirmations to myself. Wrote down my own visions and goals. Louise Hay, The Secret and NLP are some of my favourite books. The books on thought field therapy, self hypnosis, healing, and the books of Neale D. Walsh is other examples. I started to understand the power of our thoughts and mind.




My neighbor had ME for several years. One day she sent me a text message that said: "Check out the website for the Lightning Process, I am going to London in November!" I checked out the page, but did not really understand what it was all about. So I left it with that. I was not ready.  I did not know it at the time, that this was my way out of the hell I was living in.




I sat for hours every day online. Read about the son of Gunvor Hals, who recovered from his ME after taking a vitamin product from Canada. So I sent an email to her. I wanted the vitamin product. Her advised was; there is something with even better success when it comes to resolving ME, than this product. It is called The Lightning Process. This is something you can fix yourself, she said, with true belief in her voice. I sent the application, got a call from the English instructor, and got a place at a seminar at the home of Gunvor Hals. I asked my best friend to join me, she said yes without even thinking about it, and off we went! Just to get there was a hard job, when you can barely walk..




What happened during the 3 days in Oslo I can hardly describe in words. It is the best thing that has happened to me to this day! I met a fantastic instructor, who explained what had happened to my body, and told me that I could fix it! Even better, the situation could turn around quickly! After a thorough explanation, we got a concrete introduction to what we could do to reverse the situation. And the amazing thing was, that we could feel the proof right away! When we used the process, it really worked! After 3 days I went home, like a new person. A world I never knew existed had opened before my eyes. And the fear? Well, it had disappeared along with the ME. I actually had not noticed it myself because I was so focused on what we learned at the seminar. So when someone mentioned the word anxiety, I could only laugh. Is it possible I thought, is this for real?




It goes with the story that I was not 100% healthy from that day. I came home from the course and back to my everyday life, which had not changed. There was a lot to work with, I can promise you. I got a few relapses along the way, where both anxiety and ME "came" back. But I had changed myself, I had a toolbox , and I used it to get myself out of the situation again.




The feeling of self-manage to fix something so completely out of balance, it is a great powerful feeling. I had to work hard, but it was worth every second. The seminar was worth every 50 cents! I can say with the hand on my heart, that with the LP, you are guaranteed success if you do what you are trained to do the course.  If others can do it, there is got to be a way that I can do the same. If I can do it, so can you. And this is true for ME, anxiety, depression, and many other kinds of disorders.




Just to do the dishes was a wonderful experience, because I could do it! I was able to walk for miles without collapsing, I could go on visits, shop, play with the kids, go to a party! I'll never forget the joy I felt when I climbed my first peak shortly after the LP seminar. I could even start as an aerobics instructor again! It was amazing!


A while later a friend asked me to join her on the Silva Ultra Mind course. There, I got the puzzle piece that was missing before it all was complete. The tool for how I could heal my past. I felt like I was THERE. Now I had what I needed to face everything in life with confidence. I did not fear anything any longer, I had been on the bottom, I had got my dose.





I was at home, whole, free, born again, that is the way it felt.




But the story does not end here ...

LP 24/7 365 : ESP course and Positives:)

I did a great weekend! I attended a course wich I have taken several times before. It is called Unique Mind ESP. The founder is Deborah Borgen, also known from "Åndenes makt" (power of the spirits) and "Fornemmelse for mord" (sense of murder) at TV. At the course you get some fantastic tools to use when you work with your self development. 


During the weekend I actually discovered myself all over again! I can SEE myself now, I can HEAR myself and I am ready to LISTEN and take responsibility for my own life! I now know that I can TRUST myself, and give myself some love:) And I know, that when I can do all these things to myself, OTHERS will do the same! Thats wonderful:)



I have always been a collector. Not any particular things, just having a hard time to get rid of things. You know, I might need it some day.... And then all the THINGS make me crazy, you know how it is...
I have changed. I live only for today, and I have thrown away a lot of papers that I may never use. Its just there. Not any more. Diarys, thrown away. Calenders, same.. And what is left? Freedom! 


I am willing to let go! Let go of the past. Live for today. And DO the things that i need to DO to get THE LIFE I LOVE:) We all need something to live for. A vision. A dream. 


Take the road less travelled by, make miracles!


I want to dance ZUMBA!


I want to TRAVEL!


I want to LOVE!


I want to help the children of tomorrow, to become aware of the greatness of their full POTENSIAL!





It is wonderful when you can see the influence you can have in life, and the possibilities!


I have done joy!


I have done focus!


I have done good belief about the future!


If I can do THAT, it means I can do ANYTHING! 


I do not need to fear tomorrow, when I know that I can create my own day:)

Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures.
John F. Kennedy

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be a s big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
John F. Kennedy




Read more:http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/john_f_kennedy_3.html#ixzz1e06tz6us

Oh, I just realized that a new weekend is coming up! Tomorrow is my day off:)

Happy new weekend everyone!!

Do a good one!

Godt sagt:)

"Verdensproblemer kan aldri bli løst av skeptikere og kynikere, hvis horisont er begrenset av opplagte realiteter. Vi trenger menn og kvinner som kan drømme om ting som aldri har eksistert."

John F. Kennedy

(1917-1963)

En fantastisk helg med Unique Mind ESP og LP:)

Jeg har vært på ESP kurs i helga. Deborah Borgen er helt fantastisk. Så ekte, så engasjert og så stor innsikt som den "lille" damen har! En verden er i forandring takket være slike som henne. 

Skal si at prosesser ble satt i gang i helgen. Ikke bare behagelig, så mye er sikkert. Men jeg er i ferd med å finne Camilla. Jeg begynte letingen etter henne for 6 år siden. Nå kommer hun til overflaten. Denne gangen skal jeg holde fast på henne. Hun er tross alt den viktigste personen i mitt liv. Uten meg kan jeg heller ikke være noe for andre.

Jeg er i gang. I gang med å skape et liv jeg elsker. Det er målet. Jeg trenger ikke lenger å frykte morgendagen, når jeg vet at jeg kan skape min egen, som Deborah sier. Er det ikke deilig?

Deborah og Bruce Lipton begynner kanskje å jobbe sammen, det er helt fantastisk. De snakker om mye av det samme. Men Bruce mangler de praktiske øvelsene for å få jobben gjort. De har Deborah. JA til et samarbeid mellom de to!

Fra nå av blir Camilla sett. Hun blir hørt. Og, hun blir tatt alvorlig. Av seg selv. Det har hun og kroppen hennes lengtet lenge etter. Gamle sannheter er på veg ut, nye kommer inn.

Jeg velger! Jeg ønsker å gi min oppmerksomhet til det som er positivt. Jeg har gjort det motsatte så lenge. Jeg husker jeg skrev ned negative ting i dagboken min slik at jeg skulle kunne vise det frem for andre og aldri glemme det! Hvorfor i himmelens navn gjorde jeg det? 

Jeg ønsker at min blogg skal bringe positiv energi ut til andre. Det kan jeg velge, er det ikke deilig?  Nå skal jeg ta en kopp te med datteren min. Så skal jeg gå opp i andre etasje og kaste noen gamle permer. De er fulle av nyttig info egentlig. Jeg har samlet alt som kan være nyttig for meg på min veg til helse. Men vet du hva? Jeg lever i dag, og jeg trenger ikke å samle. I stedet kan jeg gi slipp. Jeg har en ESP sans, jeg har mine LP og mine mentale verktøy, jeg får det jeg trenger. 

DET ER SÅ DEILIG!!

LP 24/7 365: My second skype call with Heather:)

 I had my second session with Heather today. It was great! 

My challenge this week was to look for positives, add the process and edit my thoughts. Heather said that she wanted to hear at least ONE positive change. 




I must admit that before our call today I wondered if I had one. Because I have notised many limiting beliefs this week. And I could have done so much better.... I suddenly became aware that it was hard for me NOT to tell the bad stuff. Felt wrong or untrue to leave that behind.. 




 I have done a couple of really good process sessions. And I have coached myself. I have done two really great moments when I used a relaxation tool, to completely change how I felt. I have done some really great changes! 




As you understand, I have been in and out of the pit. The result is somewhere in between. I have done some really good work, but not really recognizing it. The brain have been trained to look for negatives for so many years, and that is what the brain is used to do. So the result is that I am watering out my own achivements. 





I have realized so many things this week. I have been duing complexity about it all, watering out my achivements, trying to hard, and so on.




During my talk with Heather today I feel that I have sorted out A LOT. I am going to focus on taking small steps. I do not need to fix anything. What a relief! I can just think about what I can focus on right now, or in the next half hour, to create a good feeling. 

Coach has now become my best  friend, wich is great! And I choose to look ONLY for positives. Make a stop on everything else. And my big challenge is to show joy and positivity with my entire body. With body language and posture! I do not think I have realized just HOW important this is before now.





I have done a great job all evening after our talk. I REALLY feel that I can do this now. I am going to make it fun and easy, trigger the good neurology that I really need!




One minute, one hour, nne day at the time.




SO, thats the end of negative focus here on the blog as well!


From now on you will hear only the good stuff:)


My achivements, and how I am moving forward to a life I love.




Tomorrow and sunday I am going to attend the wonderful self-development course called Unique Mind ESP. I will recieve a lot of healing there, I can hardly wait:)






DO a wonderful weekend everybody:)

My story, Part 1: Hell on earth....

"When I become 30, my life will go to hell..."




Those were the words I said, as a joke, when I was 29 years old. I didnt know then, that those words soon would become my  reality...




Until that moment, I had a "normal" life, status married with two children, working 100%, areobic instructor
in my leisure. We was renovating our old house by ourselves, at the same time as we lived in a non-functioning marriage.  Since then I have learned a great deal about myself and my life. The direction had been "wrong" for many years, I just didnt know it. I didnt know then, what kind of patterns I was running over and over. I was not  conscious of it. I didnt have any knowledge of how the body works, how thoughts, feelings and reality is close related.





11. May 2007. I will never forget it. I was at work at the hospital when I felt that "something" happened in my head. Then, suddenly, I could not remember anything, I was dizzy and wanted to faint. I was sent to the emergency room and examined. They found nothing. It wasnt until several hours later that  I started to recognize my body, and it was delicious. But in the evening it all started over again .... what happens?




I did not know it then, but I just had experienced my first panic attack. I was not aware that it is possible to become so sick .... To make a long story short, I have been through all types and degrees of anxiety, all the symptoms of the list. The panic attacks was so strong that I threw up, lost the feeling in the face, legs and arms. I hid myself under the covers, was unable to be with my kids or go out, could not eat and went quickly down 10 kg. Did not sleep for several months, heard only the heart that pounded like a freight train inside the chest. My hands trembled, my  tongue was shaking, all the muscles in the body stiffened and it was hurting all over. The lymphatic system worked poorly. This was followed by depression, gastritis, hormones out of balance, more and extreme anxiety. Anxiety is the most horrible feeling there is. I was getting worried that I was about to go crazy.




Desperate, I tried to find help. At my doctors office, psychologist, psychomotor therapist, the local health food store,  like-minded, online .. But my situation was getting worse and eventually I was taking so strong medication to sleep that I could not move. The muscles were completely knocked out, but I was still not sleeping. At the psychologist office I could not get any help. ZERO. He was superior and had a bad attitude. He looked "down" at me. I came to see him once a week. All he wanted to know, was how I felt. No advice on what I could do to get better. But he wanted to give me happy pills. I did not want any. Will I become well again?  I asked. No, the anxiety, it will be there always, he said. I did not come back to his office.




I did not know then, that I could not get the help I needed OUTSIDE of myself. The key, all I'd need, lay hidden somewhere I would never think of looking; INSIDE myself. I did not know, that I was the teacher I wanted, that I, little me, be able to fix all this ...




I went out into the woods to find the answer within myself. A wise woman told me to do so. A strange feeling ... When was the last time I listened to myself? What happened then, when I finally listened to myself, was that it all bubbled over. All the terrible things I had experienced, all the suppressed emotions came out, situation after situation rolled through my awareness. I could not stop it. Then I got an enormous pressure in my head. I got back home and went into the shower. Then, my body litteraly collapsed.  The muscles were relaxing, I could hardly walk. From there, it was not long before I was lying in bed without having to manage shaking and I could hardly walk. All the muscles in my body lost their function. On top of everything, I had got ME.





I asked to be admitted to a psychiatric clinic, I wanted to be drugged and slip away. You are too healthy, the doctor said ...




I got brainfog and did not even remember my own name. Lay in bed and had to have dinner there, could barely lift my hand to eat. Pull yourself together, my mother said ....




It became worse and worse.




The bottom was reached.




The thought of life was worse than the thought of death....

LP 24/7 365: week 2 and another turning point:)

First I want to tell that I have been doing some great discoveries the last days. I was talking to a friend of my parents on facebook. I asked her about her RA. (I know, Heather, I focused on sickness by doing that, but you know, that was before you "moved in" with me). She said some words wich made a big difference to me. It may seem strange to others that those exact words made a difference. For most people it is an of course thing. She said: "life is not over if you get a RA diagnose"...




Wow! My life is not over!! Well, of course it is not, you might think. But those words told me a lot of what I have been telling myself. I realized then, that I have been putting my life on hold for a very long time! I have been waiting, duing a lot of bodychecking to find out what would happen next, see how ill I would become, before I would do anything more in my life. I thought that my life was over, so to say. And I thought that all I could do was to try to survive in the condition I would end up.




I remember I thought things like: It is no point in buing new boots, because my feets will start swell any minute now, and they will not fit into any shoes at all. I guess I will have to use slippers all year long.



How is that for a "good one"??? 

Anyway, those words from my parents friend helped me. By saying them to myself, I realized that I am still me, I still have a life, I can buy new boots, I can still do good, I can still experience nature and good times. I do not need to put my life on hold, I do not need to lay down and die (...), I can actually start to LIVE again, instead of putting my life on hold. It made me HAPPY!




I have done some great days because of that discovery:)




And again, I remind myself that I need to heal myself from within. It means that I can focus on other things than my body, and that is truly a relief.




Recently, I have been able to help some people I know who is duing ME. That feels wonderful. It is so many that for some reason just will not listen on that ear... So when someone do, it really feels great. So for my friend who is now seriously thinking about doing LP instead of ME, YOU GO GIRL!!

TODAY I have done another turning point in my LP journey. I had my first skype call with Heather Thomas. She was my LP instructor when I did ME, and she is my number ONE. I am so HAPPY that she can be my guru:) 




Today we did some great improvements, and she reminded me of a lot of the essential and important aspects of the LP. Among other things I learned about the importance of good coaching. I recognize that my coaching have not been as good as it needs to be. To really step into the self esteem, firmness, kindness and posture that the coach need, to adress the issues, is something I need to focus up on.




Limiting beliefs is another important issue for me. I have to repeat what I decide to believe in, again and again, to get old-Camilla to accept the changes I am determined to do.





I am happy that Heather will guide me through these first weeks. It is of great importance that someone are there to help. I think the keys for me is determination and to be consistent. Also, of course, to adress the issues at once, by adding the LP:)




Friday will be my next session with Heather, and I will tell more about how I am duing later.




Do a great day everybody!!

I want to tell my story...

At the beginning of May this year I decided to tell my story. Because I am sharing my LP journey in english, I think it is a good idea to share some earlier posts in english as well. I can reach more people this way. Maybe help more people. The world needs that we share. So, here are the first post, I will get back to you as soon as I have the others in english. Have patience with my english, please:)



"After the great health challenges in recent years I have trawled the net for alternative ways to regain myhealth. In this way, I found the blog of Trine Grung. I contacted her and after a few emails back and forth, she asked me if I wanted to share my story on her blog.
After much thinking I said yes. It was important for me to remain anonymous at the time, so I did not tell it to anyone. Just to write the story was pretty bad, and I was not ready to share in full transparency.




Recently, however, which matured in me. To share in the full disclosure is absolutely fine. There is so much prejudice out there, so much is taboo. For this reason, it is just more important to share. I know that I'm not the only one in the world who have experienced things like this. And unlike before, I will no longer hide. I need not be afraid of others' reactions, because I am more confident in myself. 




I have a new goal in life. It is twofold. I will work towards improving health, and not least, I want to help others.So here is my first post. I will post the other soon. Appreciate the comments and if you have any questions then just ask."

The first days of LP 24/7 365

Its been almost a week since I started my new LP journey. During this first week  I have worked on my motivation. It seems that I have a deep belief inside, wich says:  "my life is over because of the RA". And I am duing struggle to get past it. In other words I have indentified some of my limiting beliefs, wich is good!


Theese are the NLP books I ordered from amazoon:


Coaching With NLP, Joseph O`Connor & Andrea Lages
NLP Workbook, Joseph O`Connor
Introducing NLP, Joseph O`Connor & Jane Seymour
NLP The new technology of achivement, Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner, The NLP comprehensive training team.


So now I have enough to read:)
So far I have been just reading a little here and a littlie there. They seem very good to me:)


All my life I have been duing "worst case senario" thoughts. I truly believe that by duing that, I have got myself into a lot of trouble. 


During the week, I have had my ups and downs. Duing stuggle one day, hope the next. I have a whole set of tools I use when I work on my self development. I focus as much as I can all the time, on thinking enhancing thoughts. Useful thoughts. I coach myself a lot. But I have not been doing the process a lot. I have definitively been visiting the pit. 



My issue is, and I believe I said so last time as well, that my limited beliefs are so strong that I have to work on them A LOT. 
And, I think it is hard (or more precisely I am DUING difficult) to go through the process when I am in pain.


By the way, I have started to say words as "pain" in a very funny way. I say it with a very light and baby-like voice, like it is a very little weak word. I want to take the power away from the word, so my body don`t need to react in a negative way about it. When I think or speak like that I start to smile or laugh:)
To write negative words in small letters are also useful. Or just to replace them with other, better words. 
For example I do not use the words "must", "have to" or "should have" any more. Instead I use the much better word "can". You can try it, it really makes you feel better:)


I have discovered some limiting beliefs this week. I have also discovered that they are not true:)


If anyone have stories to tell, or advise to give I would be happy to hear or recieve:)


Love from me


more later...